I am always wondering about how to make friends. On my recent trip to Mont Blanc, with hours of time to think between breathless gasps, I had lots of time to consider. File it under “Fun Things to Think About to Ensure Your Brain is Getting Enough Oxygen at Altitude”. In my slightly impaired state, I came to many brilliant conclusions on the topic. The problem with high altitude deep thoughts? They pass like clouds and footprints through a hypoxic brain. Back on the valley floor and discussing this phenomenon with the other holiday climbers dedicated alpine mountaineers on the trip, it occurred to me: I now counted this lovely band of British men among my friends.
You make friends by sharing experiences
Experiences serve as a watermark. Even through silent times on the mountain we were bonding. In quiet moments later we had something to look back on and discuss. We witnessed important stuff together–avalanches, helicopter rescues, group members falling on their faces trying to crampon through the snow. The “experiences theory” is why the people I know that “hang out” the most seem to have the most friends. The exposure time is greater.
My problem is I don’t have a lot of patience for “hanging out”. I would rather be “drinking martinis” or “obsessing over my blog readership statistics” or “going to spinning class” or “reading sarcastic nonsense on the internet”.
Make friends anyway
Here is the trick–go do the stuff you put in those quotation marks. Talk to the other people involved in those activities. For example, in my case I will be approaching unfriendly-looking people drinking martinis alone in hotel bars. Once I break into their day with my unfailing good attitude moderately friendly demeanor, we can participate in activities we mutually enjoy.
And that’s how you make friends. Figure out stuff you like to do, then stalk other people involved in similar activities. You’re welcome. Picture of me with my new mountain friends below.
