As an American living in Spain, I deal with a variety of ex-pat problems. Lack of familiar food. Different cultural customs. And of course, everything is rooted in ex-pat problem numero uno: the tremendous language barrier.
I try not to let it bother me. Instead, I consider it an engaging challenge. It’s like talking to people is a puzzle with lots of moving parts that don’t fit together. I get to smile and laugh helplessly. Fun! (See vaguely related post here. And here.)
But after some stupid attempts at Spanish hospital visits during my first year in Spain, I realized something. I draw the line at my medical appointments.
Going to the doctor in Spanish really freaks me out.
That obvious fact plus a busy schedule is a perfect recipe for intimidating, longstanding medical problems.
Fast forward to now. Last week, I scheduled an appointment for an adorable little varicose vein on the inside of my left thigh. How long has it been there, you ask? Ahem…2 years. Yes, I’ve been monitoring it for growth. Also, I checked with our school nurse (who I basically consider my general physician) to make sure it didn’t seem cancerous. However, it seemed time to get it looked at.
Here’s a step-by-step breakdown:
1: Use Spanish healthcare website to try and find English speaking doctor (Time on to do list: 4 months. Time to attempt and realize I didn’t want to go to a random internet doctor: 10 minutes)
2: Go to school nurse (AKA general physician). Have her recommend English speaking doctor ( Time on to do list: 2 months. Time to complete: 10 minutes)
3: Have nurse set up appointment (2 minutes)
4: Attend appointment. Doctor tells me he speaks no English. He proceeds to detail what is wrong with me and set up an appointment FOR MY LEG SURGERY in Spanish (1 hour)
5: Go back to school nurse (Her name is Mamen, which I’m relatively sure is Spanish for ‘angel sent from heaven to deal with my annoying questions’). Have her call doctor to translate why I need to go to a hospital. (I day)
Step 6: Meet Spanish doctor (now much more agreeable about speaking a small amount of English) in hospital for one veiny lump removal and 6 stitches (1 hour)
The good news? I learned lots! For example:
Spanish OR nurses like to say ‘Jolene’ (can be translated to ‘oh hell’) while they are in charge of cauterizing leg tissue WHILE THEIR PATIENTS ARE AWAKE UNDER LOCAL ANESTESIA)
I can deal with complicated stuff in Spanish by asking for lots (and lots and lots…) of help. Very empowering.
It’s very satisfying to take control of health care decisions. Or at least, to have the very nice school nurse do it for you. It takes a village.
If you really want to know if your doctor speaks English, don’t speak to him in Spanish. (I don’t mean to be culturally insensitive. Someone actually told me this and it was important to consider.)
Having something on a to-do list doesn’t mean a thing until I am actually ready to do it…then things start happening pretty fast. (see related thoughts about to do lists here)
Thanks to Online Marketing for the banner photo!