Best Mother’s Day Advice

Here’s the best Mother’s Day Advice I can give you:

DON’T GO TO BRUNCH
NOOOO BRUNCH
ABSOLUTELY DO NOT GO TO BRUNCH

As a former waitress, I beg you, I IMPLORE YOU DO. NOT. GO. TO. BRUNCH.

Here’s why:

You know that sad, busy, picked-over feeling that last day of the semi-annual shoe sale at Saks–when people are shopping but there’s nothing good left so they are half-heartedly fighting over last year’s two-tone Manolo sandals?     Mother’s Day brunch in a restaurant is like if that experience were happening in a restaurant.  In hell. And instead of shoes people were fighting over the last mimosa and who’s stupid idea it was to go to brunch in the first place while all waitresses hide in the serving well and sneak shots of tequila wait for the kitchen to fire 7,000 orders of Egg’s Benedict at the same time.   So, instead of brunch, here are actual good ideas:

Other Best Mother’s Day Advice (besides the brunch thing, obviously)

 

 

First, buy your mother a nice gift.  She crammed you out of her VAGINA for goodness sake.  Put the Target spatula set DOWN and go directly to the nearest department store.  Jewelry, expensive scented candles, spice dishes, whatever.  Mom “doesn’t need anything”?  Go to a florist (inspo here).  Spend at least $40.    

 

Second, get your gift/flowers/whatever nicely wrapped and go have a good, old-fashioned visit.  Go on a walk, or look through photo albums and laugh about the 80’s.  Ask questions.  Try the ones below: 

 

1. What was your favorite vacation with our family?

2.  Where did you meet my father your current husband? 

3.  What was the funniest thing one of your kids ever said/did?

4. Where have you always wanted to go?  

5.  When did you know you wanted children?  

 

Third, take a picture together.  Every year. 

 

Happy Mother’s Day!! And of course, thanks to Brooke Cagle for the banner photo.