Here is a fun little fact I learned this weekend before I had properly considered how to beat the heat: Spanish summer heat induces panic attacks. Most importantly, Spanish summer heat induces panic attacks in me.
A friend asked me (at 9 PM, when it was safe to venture out-of-doors) if the temperature in Madrid wasn’t comparable to the heat in New York City. I responded by glaring at her while I violently rubbed ice cubes over my wrists calmly saying I thought the type of heat must be different. Or the weird, Franco-induced Spanish time zone must make the afternoon hotter. Or something. Because I havenever in my life felt so hopeless about the idea of going outside between 3 PM and 6 PM. The dry, burning heat quite literally makes me want to kill….everything something. People walking slowly in front of me. Dogs that are barking. Insects that dare land on my sweat-slippery arms. Since daily panic attacks do not seem to be an option for the next 6 months, I am spending the air-conditioned evening coming up with fun ways to avoid the blistering hell heat. Here’s what I have so far:
1. Ice slide. Necessary materials: ice cubes, trash bag, small hill. Get creative.
2. Ice necklace. Not actually made of ice! Just put normal jewelry in the freezer overnight before wearing.
3. Ice underwear. See above. With underwear.
4. Tea ice. Make tea (very healthy) and freeze. Put in a cup in the morning and drink as it melts.
5. Ice hat. Get two baseball caps-put water in between and freeze for one cap-shaped lump of ice.
Stay cool, readers. Besos. Click here for tips on how to plan a summer trip.