Hi reader,
Last night I saw the Metropolitan Opera production of Donzetti’s Elixir of Love. Written in the 1831, the story centers around the quest of Nemorino, a young village guy in rural Italy, as she tries to win the heart of Adina, a successful farm owner. While Adina is busy falling for an obnoxious, self-important army general, a traveling salesman passes through town peddling…..you guessed it….a magical Elixir of Love. Nemorino purchases the elixir at a premium and tragedy, confusion and comedy follow, ultimately concluding in happiness.
Now I know that passion for opera is not what it used to be and I probably lost most of you at “Written in 1831…” but if you are still following along, the story begs several questions still relevant in today’s society. The most important of which:
If there was an Elixir of Love, would you buy it?
No, you say? What about $34-a-tube Chanel Rouge lipstick? Viagra? Prada? Rolex? Spanx? A person to write your profile on your match.com account?
Our society is all about the capitalization of love. We attempt to buy acceptance and affection from our family members and potential suitors every day. Our advertising-addicted culture leads us to believe the only acceptable standard is absolute perfection, and the only way to get there is to spend spend spend.
Consumption versus Love
As a result, our society has started to value consumption more than love. That is why rapid-fire online dating has become so popular. That is why women expect men to pay for a $400 dinner on a first date and men expect…well, something that usually involves “coming upstairs for a nightcap” in return. We are losing our ability to communicate with other people in a genuine way. Dates are expected to fizzle, marriages are expected to fail and no one is surprised by unreturned phone calls.
How do we come back from this abyss? I want to reach the happily ever after! Maybe instead of feeding into the capitalistic machine of the Elixir of Love, we need to lower our expectations and focus on being kind and realistic with each other. Go on a walk when you first meet someone. Take the time to get to know them. Don’t expect instant perfection. Instead, be realistic and polite–return phone calls, open doors, attempt interesting conversation, put your phone away and don’t treat people as through they are expendable/replaceable/exchangeable store-bought goods. Put time into your relationships-nurture your friends, give people a second change and understand there are lots of reasons someone may be a good fit in your life, even if that person doesn’t fit into your idea of the perfect friend/brother/sister/lover/mentor.
Love Always Wins
The real L’Eliser d’Amore can’t be bought from some swindling, street-peddling advertising executive. Try kindness over time.
But the opera was fabulous!
If you want to read about a town with a fabulous opera house, click here for my article on Cadiz, Spain.
(The banner photo in this post is by Rafael Leão, check out his work on Unsplash!)