Tim Kreider recently wrote an opinion piece for the NY Times titled “The Busy Trap”. If you are too cheap for a NYT subscription, you can read my summary below:
What is the busy trap?
People create ‘The Busy Trap’, full of busy-ness for themselves. Busyness is an annoying, distracted state that allows people to focus on being annoyed and distracted instead of processing any real information or real life experiences. Mr. Kreider makes a particularly striking and beautiful point about feeling like he has to shout over the self-imposed hysteria of “busy-ness” in order to make simple plans with friends.
The idea of busy-ness taking the place of real experiences resonates with me as a stressed, type A New Yorker in a tremendous way. I recently moved across the ocean to escape the busy New York life style and, guess what? The lifestyle followed me to Spain! I’ve become so accustomed to filling up my days with activities that I continued on the same trend almost immediately the second I set foot on European soil.
Here’s the problem: It’s easy to be busy. It’s difficult to be SATISFIED with your life and feel you are pursuing worthwhile activities. Fulfillment does not come from filling up the hours on your calendar. Fulfillment comes from enjoying the activities you pursue both personally and professionally.
How do we stop?
I have made a decision to stop getting caught in the busy trap and start seeking PASSION. Basically it was either that or grind my teeth into dust trying to keep up with an impossible schedule. I had a flash of blinding inspiration and realized I quite like my teeth, so getting out of the stress-ocean of busy-ness was the logical choice. Mediterranean Sea of Passion, here I come….
To start seeking passion, I have a 3-step plan (In my defense, I cut it down from 5 to 3 in the interest of distillation and “un-busy-ness”)
1. Slow down.
It is important to breathe. Every minute of every day. It is difficult to breathe when you are simultamously e-mailing, texting, eating a snack, drinking a coffee, booking a flight to Brussels, crossing items off a to-do list and talking on the phone. I am going to focus on doing one thing at a time and doing it SLOWLY in order to enjoy my e-mail/text/coffee/sense of satisfaction with my to-do list.
2. Pick and Choose.
In our world of continuous, endless streams of information, it becomes continually more difficult to prioritize. Just because an activity is listed on the internet, or a new recipe comes up on glamour.com NYTimes Cooking Blog, doesn’t mean I need to participate. I have activities and routines I enjoy (and it took a long time to figure out what they are). I want to let everything else go and focus on the things that make me happy. This step may be pretty intense, because picking and choosing the things that make me happy mean I need to alter my lifestyle. There will certainly be more written about Step 2 as I have time to reflect (see below).
3. Reflect.
The power of reflection is part of the beauty of life. It is that quiet time when deep, surprising connections are made. It’s important for the brain and the spirit. It is the essence of the Mediterranean Sea of passion. Just sit and look and clear your mind….everything else can wait.